just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
