i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
