Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My balls are so social today.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
