have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
