what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
