I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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