Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
