idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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