It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
