bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
