Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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