i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
