New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
