you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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