is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
