Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
