that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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