He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
