I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Success! We fucked roommates!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
