I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
