You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
