I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck me I smell like cheese
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
