Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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