What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
