I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just had sex on a roof
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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