I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the condom got lost in my hair
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
