his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
