u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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