textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Mom said you looked used
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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