singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
