my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
