Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
