Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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