you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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