Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Congratulations! We have a period
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