I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
nutella sex= disaster
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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