dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
