I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
