Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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