I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
