can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
