Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
