Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
