it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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