I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
