we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
