so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
