I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
