So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
