Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
