You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
